// thoughts

Ok this might be a little stretch for some people but for me, this was divine intervention.

My credit/debit card is broken from overusage, so I can't get any money out from my account until my new card comes in the mail. I used the last few dollars I had left to buy some plates and utensils yesterday for Ultreya.

I can't eat breakfast for 68+1 days because that was one of my sacrifices for each of the candidates of the retreat.

So I leave my house this morning and take $1.50 in quarters to work just so I can get some brownie or something. It gets to around 1:00pm and I'm hungry, like pass out hungry! And I need something a bit filling and not just junky to eat to keep my going until I get home.

I'm walking to the cafeteria, and I just mention to God how awesome it would be if I opened my wallet and found some money in there so I can get real food, I was just going to get a cookie or something.

Then something (or someone) tells me to open my wallet, so I did. Inside my wallet I look and there's no money, but then I flip through some papers and there's a folded dollar bill there! I was so happy because now I could buy a slice of pizza!

Man God is good...I was seriously starving and He hooked it up with another dollar so I can get something that would be filling!

I have learned from the years in the BNP, that when you serve Him with all your heart, He will look out for you and hook you up whenever you need it - be it tests, term papers, money to eat, or whatever, He will be there.

God is good - all the time

+ mon

This was the song that we played during the skit that portrayed evil all around us. Man I just saw the lyrics and didn't know they meant so much and was the perfect song for that skit

I spent a day by the river
It was quiet and the wind stood still
I spent some time with nature
To remind me of all that's real
It's funny how silence speaks sometimes when you're alone
And remember that you feel
It's funny how silence speaks sometimes when you're alone
And remember that you feel
Again I stand, Lord I stand, against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand, against the Faceless Man
Now I saw a face on the water
It looked humble but willing to fight
I saw the will of a warrior
His yoke is easy and His burden is light
He looked me right in the eyes
Direct and concise to remind me
To always do what's right
He looked me right in the eyes
Direct and concise to remind me
To always do what's right
Again I stand, Lord I stand, against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord God I stand, against the Faceless Man
'Cause if the face inside can't see the light
I know I'll have to walk alone
And if I walk alone to the other side
I know I might not make it home
Again I stand, Lord I stand, against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand, against the Faceless Man
Next time I see this face
I'll say I choose to live for always
So won't you come inside And never go away
Next time I see this face
I'll say I choose to live for always
So won't you come inside And never go away
Again I stand, Lord I stand, against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand, against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand, against the Faceless Man.

+ mon

Just found out Alicia Keys worked here at my law firm Her mom worked here for about 14 years.

WoW so now I can be a singer! I have some glimmer of hope knowing she worked right here! Freakin' awesome...

+ mon

They always would tell us that the meaning of Ultreya was a spirtual banquet, but majority of the time I would never feel that it was. Tonight was a different story!

During the whole day today at work, I was just sitting there reading people's Xanga's and crying because I didn't realize that the retreat had such an impact on people. Then I was about to leave and my boss asks me if I want Knicks tickets for tonights game - I said no. Then he said to me that they are courtside tickets! Man!? Taning working or what!? Courtside tickets to the Knicks game on the night that the new grads are supposed to go to Ultreya! Well I chose "my kids." I guess I'm calling them my kids since I was chosen to be rector of their retreat, and I feel it's my responsibility to keep them here and on the right track.

But yeah it was definately a distraction, those Knicks tickets seemed mighty tempting! I went to Ultreya expecting maybe 10-20 new grads there and I was going to be happy. Ummm, yeah - we ended up with 50+ youth. No I didn't stutter! I said it - 50+ youth! There were 80+ people in total, but the youth was just crazy!

The entire Ultreya felt like a continuation of the graduation, it was freakin insane! Never before had I seen a bigger turnout than what I saw today. See it's not just about the number of people there, but what they shared!!! Good gosh man, I'm full of grace and I just keep getting more?! Where does it all go!? But the new grads sharings were really really touching and motivating. Makes me want to do so much more for them and the other youth!

One part of the Ultreya was the question and answer - Kuya Willie from Kali would answer he questions that were asked. Then someone asked about apostalating - and Kuya Willie opened the floor up to anyone who would like to share how they do it. You'll never guess who answered the question...a new grad! Yes a new grad did, not just one, but two! Two of them said how they apostalated! Man it was just so much grace!

I know we're on a "high" right now, but this aint going nowhere anytime soon. We're going to nurish this and make that seed grow.

So many things that Kuya Willie said were just awesome. Some I remember, some I took down, some I hope I'll remember later. But his words, his messages, his stories were just so inspiring and they were just so much great things to get from it! I remember I loved how Kuya Willie spoke back in the day and I always will. Here are some of the things he said tonight that I was able to remember:

-What is a BNP Graduate? A BNP Graduate is someone who is commited to God and serving His people.

-Saints are sinners that are willing to keep trying.

There are more that I will be adding as they come to me, now off to sleepland now - still haven't caught up on my sleep from the weekend

+ mon