// thoughts

Ahhh felt good last night to see all the youth there doing novena we did this little underground thing.

For a while the youth here in NyC haven't been on the same page and have had different priorities - be it clubbing, drinking, card games, boyfriends/girlfriends, work, school or anything else that would detract them from BNP functions.

I've been sitting back and letting things happen, I want people to step up a little bit and take some more incentive and some more responsibility. At first it didn't seem that way, seemed like maybe one or two would step up - Em and Carla, they would always volunteer to cook food is good mmMmmM. But as time went by and the retreat drew closer I noticed that other people stepped up, and I could see the fire in some people again. I could see that they really wanted this retreat, not just needed it.

Gerard is doing his thing on his limited schedule. Mark is doing his thing now which is something that we've been waiting on for years now . I can see Arvin's "fire" as he wants the youth to bond with each other before this retreat. The younger youth, Diday, Dudoy and Emil are the ones who have the most candidates for this retreat, who knows maybe all three of them will be the rectors!

Last night was a last minute organization of doing novena together. A few of the youth have talked to me and told me they aren't feeling the grace and don't want to serve because of some factors, namely some things certain adults did or said.

I wanted to just sit back and relax and let everyone else do the work for this retreat. I wanted everyone to be able to stand on their own two feet and make this retreat happen without me pushing or without me planning something. I wanted Mark to plan something, I wanted G to plan something, I wanted anyone to plan something to get things going.

I guess it's pressure time and I saw a need for a little activity such as last night. The adults had setup the buddy system to do Novena, where you are paired with one of the adults and they will call you each night of Novena to remind you to do the Novena. That's all fine and dandy but I think we need much more than that for this retreat to push through.

So last night we planned to have the youth just meet up and hang out at Mark's house. It wasn't an official BNP activity, just hang out and eat, talk, and perhaps do the Novena together .

Of course the plan from the getgo was to do Novena together and just solidify everyone as one. I wasn't expecting a lot of people to go but surprisingly 14 youth showed up . Jerry, Lourdes, Em, Emilie, Richard, Diday, Dudoy, Emil, Mark, Kristelle, Arvin, Shing, JC, and me.

But it felt great having everyone show up and we decided as a group that the buddy system is not for us and we need to do this on a nightly basis, Novena together as a group. So hopefully this is a giant step forward to getting things together for this retreat. I know it's last minute and it's a week and a half away from the retreat, but it's better late than never.

I had doubts about the reteat just last Friday, but from the turnout last night, I feel a surge from the NyC Youth coming on.

At this point in my life and my situation, this is something that will keep me hanging on. I almost let go of everything and everyone, including Him because of everything. But last night was an inspiration and a motivating factor to keep me striving and going.

I think that this retreat will push through, if not, well at least the youth has gotten back together because of it. There's a reason for everything, and I know that the reason for this retreat, go or no go, is to bring the NyC Youth back on track.

+ mon