// thoughts

Oh man, I just had a scary thought! What if I had no internet here at work!? I'd probably go crazy looking at all these papers and documents...the net keeps me sane, keeps me awake and keeps me working without it I'd probably plop over and die from boredom in the first few hours of the workday.

They tried to connect to AIM today and I think they finally "blocked" AIMs access to the net - I tried everything, including Aim Express/Quick Buddy, Trillian, and whatever other means I could think of to no avail. But there's always a way to get through things and loopholes to everything

www.webaim.net

The solution to it all - it's an HTML based AIM service. Works pretty well and it saves your messages just like Trillian does. Use it if you can't get on AIM from work - there is always a way around their "blocks."

+ mon

First time in a long time that we were all there! The BNP New York Youth Officers! Wo O Ho o O !

Ahhh this weekends workshop brought with it a lot of great surprises.

Friday night, Jessica and Jennifer were going to sleep over Anne's house so they don't have to drive from NJ in the morning. So I told them to call me when they get there so we can hang out. I headed over there around 10:00pm. I thought it was just going to be Jessica and Jennifer (aka Jessifer). But to my surprise I see Sunday and Carmella too! I haven't seen Carmella in a few years and I haven't seen Sunday since the summer but it was great seeing them!

Jennifer brought her "bnp book" with all her memories of when she was still living in NJ and we were just starting out the youth. OMG the pictures of when we were all younger!? Geeze what was I thinking with that hair and that moustache! HAhAhAha - G was so skinny and small! Shing was so tomboyish! Jessica and Jennifer were sooooo tiny! Carmella, same girl, different look, same attitude hAha Emilie, she was like 4 years old?! Alaina and Aizza still living in Ridgewood! Sunday with the short short hair, wow that's sooo long ago.

WoW so many memories fun times for all! It was great just remembering the past and reconnecting with the OG's! Seeing them at the workshop and just hanging out again, ahhh the good ol' days - so when we doing it again?

Thanks for the fun again! And thanks to Jessifer for the surprise it was the bestest ever! Wo O ho o O! We must do it again before Jennifer goes back to Seattle!

+ mon

I was intitially going to post about what the each of the speakers said in detail and just reflect on that, but I'll do that later when I can find my notes.

Before the workshop even started, we were trying to call everyone possible from all those that graduated the past retreats. After we were able to find out who was going to attend, we had to tell the adults and they had to setup the rides - boy o boy, setting up the rides must of been fun for them!

So the workshop was scheduled to start at 8:00am on Saturday. There were only a handful of people who were there ontime (not sure who because I wasn't one of them .

Got to the workshop around 9:00am - 9:30am with Dudoy and Diday. G said that the people from NJ left at around 8:00am.

There were about 37 youth who braved the weather and showed up for the Workshop. Kuya Dennis was so excited to do the workshop (according to C-Low). The ones who came from California were Ate Peachy, Kuya Manny, Aimee and Kuya Dennis. We weren't really sure what the workshop was going to be about since it's been so long and it was them who were planning it.

The speakers from Cali got there around 10:00am and we started shortly after that - everyone runs on filipino time! It was great seeing a lot of old graduates there for the workshop and the ones from Cali were also happy seeing a lot of the old grads and a lot of the new grads.

The speakers went in order of Aimee, Ate Peachy, Kuya Manny and then Kuya Dennis. They each spoke about different topics, but the main topic was about the youth, and what our role is, what our purpose is, what do we do, what can we do, and how we do it. It was just great hearing from all the speakers, talking about their experiences, talking about the youth and God.

Kuya Dennis spoke to us about the upcoming projects for the youth, and the projects going on now - you can see that there were some who were very excited for the projects that we will all be involved in. As Kuya Dennis said, what we've experienced so far within the Youth Ministry of the BNP is just a small small portion. There is just so much more to experience and it's up to us on whether or not we want to be part of it or not.

One of the things that I was able to get from this workshop was a sort of re-commitment. Kuya Dennis spoke to us about how right now the NY Youth is not considered a satellite right now because in order to be a satellite, there has to be at least 30 members who are consistently involved and who are commited. So right now, that is one of our main goals, get back the old grads, the new grads and see who wants to commit themselves, see who wants to be part of the projects, part of the satellite that New York will have again. Who knows, maybe we'll have more than one satellite here (NyC and NJ? Perhaps).

The fire within our hearts never dies out, sometimes it just gets smaller, sometimes it flames up! But for a small while, that fire was getting just a tad smaller, but this workshop helped to build it up again.

It's going to take commitment from the active members to get things going, it's going to take dedication, heart, and love to work together to grow.

Some people asked me during and after the workshop if we think that we could do this, if I thought we could get that satellite status. For me it's not a matter of if we can do it, it's when it will happen. I know it's going to happen, be it sooner or later, it will happen.

Thanks for all those who came here from Cali and for all the youth, staff and vigil adorers. Especially to those who listened to the speakers, and those who participated by asking questions so they could learn more.

Pictures available at my gallery - check the links on the side.

+ mon

We always ask God, why? Why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to my family? Why is this happening in my life? But what if it is God's turn to ask us. Why do you not love me? Why do you not obey me?

Something to think about...

+ mon

Well almost three weeks into the new year and I have holiday withdrawal. I'm sure everyone has been through it, even though they have never heard of it called that.

I'm at the point where I'm missing all that holiday cheer. All the lights, the decorations, the parties, the food, everything that comes with December and Christmas time!

Was just talking to Kas on AIM and it reminded me of the FAHSI Christmas Party and then the after party at her house with the tree, the karaoke, the food...ahhh holiday withdrawals!

Wish it were December again and all those crazy tourists were here looking at the tree, shopping and Saks still did that whole snow flake light concert thing on their outside wall.

Gotta wait a whole year!

+ mon

i am bound by the smallest handcuff....................my wedding ring
-author unknown

what : BNP Vigil (first of 2005)
where : St. Rose of Lima in Rockaway
when : January 15th, 2005 - Friday 9pm - 5am
who : all BNP grads / friends / family

There's going to be food there and we're going to have a little youth sharing night it's going to be fun, we haven't had one in a while.

For those of you who don't know what Vigil is here's a brief explanation.

During Vigil we spend personal time with God. We take shifts during vigil, usually 30 minutes at a time one person or a few people will go into the chapel and stay there for at least 30 minutes and just talk to God. Pray or do whatever, this is your personal time with Him - tell Him about your day, your problems, what's going on with your school, friends, family, anything you want. Just be there with Him. As much as possible try not to fall asleep in Vigil.

Remember that this is our personal time with God, so make the most of the time you're in there. Just be with Him.

While people are taking their turns Vigiling, we are usually in the other room sharing or having meetings about upcoming activities. Usually we'll share and talk about things, or just talk about problems and help one another solve them. And we also have food

Oh yeah before I forget, proper Vigil attire. For the guys, it's slacks or khaki's with a white collared shirt (either polo or button down). For the girls, white sweater or blouse with a long white shirt. Try not to wear jeans during Vigil but if you have no other choice then wear the jeans but make sure you're wearing a white top.

Any questions? Anyone need a ride? Hurry up because seats are going fast in the MoMon Mobile!

+ mon

Have you ever been in an elevator by yourself and wanted to do "things" that were fun but were too scared that the doors would just open up and everyone would see you doing stupid things?!

Well don't be scared! I was going out to lunch and was alone in the elevator...so I decided to jump while the elevator was going down! Oo o O o this was awesome! You feel like you're floating for a few seconds and depending on how much you put into your jump you can hit the ceiling with your head! hAhahahAha

You have to jump right as the elevator is about to leave the floor you're on so you get the highest jump and the most "float" time!

Try it and tell me how it goes I think I'll go downstairs right now and just try it one more time!

+ mon

The other post I put up was about the messages that I had initially heard regarding the weekend with Ate. I also included some of my thoughts in there - this post is mostly about what was said and less on my thoughts these aren't exact quotes so please bare with me...

-when you have a guest, who should greet first? (this was in response to Him being there and people coming into the room where He was with no "greeting," He is our guest so we must greet Him)
-I am not the price you paid for this weekend
-I am not here to answer your questions, I am not the one on trial here
-I came not for you, I came because you need me
-Why are you seeking the living among the dead, Christ is not amongst the dead, He is real life. I did not die, I am present in all of you my children
-I have been with you for 2078 years and 85 hours
-You will not see a smile on my face anymore, you cannot even touch my hand
-What is happening now is not the end but it is just the beginning
-I did not come here as your brother, as your friend or a God of mercy, but as your God of justice
-I will take the children first so they will not taste the wrath of God (from the news 50,000+ children died in the tsunami)
-There is so much evil in the world, killings, adultery. Father eating their own flesh...The Ten Commandments are not being followed. No one honors the father and the mother anymore especially the youth
-When the day of judgment comes, there will be a flash of light that will envelop the earth...and I will plant a new seed...and I will change the face of the earth. If it happens and you are traveling and forgot something, do not go back for there is no more time. You will not see buildings anymore. It will crumble down before your eyes. There will be peace afterwards...you will go back to the land
-Lead a prayerful life, prayerful family, teach others how to pray
-Your worst enemy is yourself. You have to completely detach yourself from yourself, you have to deny yourself
-For those who have trials, don't question just follow and I will do the rest
-Your enemy is the world, the material world around you, if you have strong will then you have me in you
-Pick up your cross and follow me
-I have done everything and came to the BNP but the graduates are still sinning
-Do not test, command God, we are just a beggar in front of God
-There will be no sign, it will just happen instantly
-You are so lucky through this movement, but still people keep sinning and those I called have left, you have to call them back if you can
-There is no more time to rest, there is no more time to stand alone
-A family that prays together, stays FOREVER

Those were some of the messages that were shared to me. From His message you can see that it is mostly about the "end times." I'm sure everyone has heard it at one point or another, but that time is drawing near. "There is no more time..." we need to act now and change. Change ourselves, change our family, then reach out to other people. There was a sense of urgency in His voice, people said that He was trying to tell us to "hurry up and get our acts together because it's almost time."

Of course this sounds scary, who wouldn't be scared. But we need to have faith, faith in Him and in ourselves that we can change. If you were one of those people (I know I am) that always say, I'll start tomorrow, I'll start it next weekend, I'll start it next month - it's time to stop that habit and start right now. We never know when time is up, we never know when judgement will come - it could happen tonight as we lay in our beds, it could happen on the way to work/school in the morning. We never know, so we must prepare ourselves. Be strong for that spiritual battle, be strong and know that you're not alone. God is right there next to you, He's just waiting for you to invite Him to join you in your struggles and fights.

Remember, no regrets - especially when it comes to Him. You don't want to be caught when the time comes saying things like "I wish I hadn't done that," "if I only did this," "why couldn't I just have stopped doing that," "if I only listened to Him, I would have been saved." Judgement is coming, but we still have some sort of time to change our lives. DO IT - don't hesitate, don't hold back anymore, don't be embarassed for your love of God, don't fall into the world. Like He said, you are your own worst enemy. Let yourself go, let everything go and let Him lead. Things will fall into place when you let Him be in front of you, behind you, on your left and on your right, on top of you, below you, and inside of you.

God Bless and I wish you all a gracefilled tomorrow

+ mon

I know one of the major problems we're having is rides. We don't have that many drivers out there but the few that we have are willing to pick people up.

One thing I ask for people who need rides - please ask ahead of time. We love rides, but it gets frustrating when someone calls 5 minutes before an activity is supposed to start and ask to be picked up. Plans have to be changed and it's a snowball effect.

That's all you have to do to get a ride - ask ahead of time. Even one day before is fine, so the drivers can plan. Get in touch with me if you need a ride, here are the following ways of contacting me:

cell : 619.253.6989
text : 917.753.7637
email : simon@raymundo.us
aim : bnpflipkid

You can pretty much reach me at any of the above ways 24hrs a day, if I'm sleeping I'll usually wake up. Keep in mind that when I say RIDE, I mean to BNP activities. Not to pick you up from work, or school or taking you shopping hahA!

Last note...if you can take public transportation (train/bus) please do so. I know a lot of people take the train/bus to go to school, work, parties, clubs, bars, whatever - so take public transpo to BNP stuff if you can. If you really can't take public transpo, please get in touch so we know you want to go and will pick you up.

Don't be scared to ask for a ride from me or the other youth. We are not going to get mad or bite~!

+ mon

As most of you know (I wonder if people still read my blog?) we had a fellowship last Saturday in the Ultreya place. This was supposed to be our get together to start off the year - food, games, chit chat, talk, share, whatever. We were just going to all get together and reaquaint ourselves with each other.

I remember speaking to some of you via text, aim, phone and people said that they were going. Of course it's not about the numbers that show up, but when one of the older people asked me who's going to be there, I told them that there would be a good number of people who said that they were going.

I was driving in from south NJ since I had something to attend to during Friday night so I got there late, around 1:30 because of other things I had to do on the way (that I wasn't expecting to do). Some people didn't have rides and called last minute asking for rides so they got picked up and we started pretty late.

Got there and it was all staff and the old youth. Only new grad there was Eve and then Wilson showed up afterwards. Instead of doing the "program" that the adults had planned, we just sat there, ate and talked to each other, shared a bit, and just talked in general.

Some people said that this was a "waste" but nothing is ever a waste. There is always a reason behind everything. Even if you don't like that reason, there will always be one.

During the fellowship on Saturday when I saw almost no one show up, I started to ask myself why? I made excuses for people who didn't go, "it was raining," "they had no rides," "short notice."

It's never mandatory for anyone to go to BNP functions, but it is always great when we see everyone show up. Say someone goes to the function, and their friends aren't there but it's just them that shows up - that one person can be so inspirational to the other people who are there. For Saturday, when people were "down" that there weren't that many new grads there I looked at it differently - Wilson and Eve were there. That was a great thing! Them being there was reason enough for me driving 2+ hours in the rain to be there.

One of the council in Cali was sharing once and he was talking about "being there." He said that when a BNP activity comes, just go - even if you don't want to go, if you have nothing better to do or have nothing else that is so important that you can't go to the BNP activity, go to the activity. Why? Because your presence can inspire someone, you being there will affect someone. At first you may not want to go because it's boring, or you just don't feel like it - but usually when you get there, you absort something, even if it's so little, it's still something. You never leave empty handed, and it's never a waste of time regardless of the numbe of people who show up.

Ever since that sharing from the council, I try and make it to every activity possible even if "I don't feel like it." Who knows - maybe when you get there, one of the other people just went there to talk to you about something important, or a problem in their life that they know you can help with. Sometimes I go just to give people rides, sometimes I just go for the food, sometimes I go just to see everyone - regardless of the reason just be there.

I think this fellowship and the turnout, in terms of the number of new grads, was a wake up call for the older youth. This usually happens every year, for the month of December, things slow down and we spend time with our families and just relax a little bit. Then come the new year things start up again and it's "dead." People are slacking and things are going sooooooo slow - only like 10 people at Ultreya or Vigil and it just keeps on going from that point on until the next retreat.

2005...time for a change. There will be no more sitting back and waiting for things to happen. There will not be anymore "just chilling" or "taking a break," this time we're going to set things off right and start off strong and continue strong.

Let that fire burn. The next activity we have is Vigil this coming Friday in St. Rose. We will show up, we have to get out of that relaxed mode from December and get back up and work. That's what the fellowship was for, it was to open our eyes and wake us up. That's the reason for the fellowship was the way it was, in my eyes. We needed that to make us realize that we can't just sit back and wait for everyone to come back, we can't just sit there and expect someone else to do the work. We have to make it happen, and we will.

See you at Vigil, be there.

+ mon

One of those who attended the weekend with Ate in Ontario this past weekend shared to me a little bit about what His messages are...man o man it's a real eye opener and if your eyes are already opened I don't think that it will ever close again - it's some scary stuff, read on if you wish.

I haven't gotten the full sharing but I got the jist of His message. Here are a few of the things that I can remember off the top of my head from the sharing and I will be adding more as I get the info:

-Change your lives
-I have prepared a place in heaven for the faithful
-When it happens and you are in a field wanting to go back to get a piece of your clothing, you will not have anytime - just stay there and pray
-Buildings will continue to crumble before your eyes
-There has never been anything that I told you that hasn't happened
-You will never put a smile on My face again

That's what I can remember and hopefully I can pick up some more of it soon. But as in my other post...time is short...there is no time left and it's really up to us now to change our lives. We can't wait around saying, "I'll start tomorrow, or maybe I'll start on Monday..." because we don't know if there is a tomorrow or a Monday. Like that one saying goes, live each day as if it were your last and tomorrow was never promised to anyone.

The post of this post isn't to scare anyone or make you so scared that you're going to change your life. The point of this post is to keep you guys aware, keep me aware of the things that are going on. We live our lives each day as if we will live forever, well not forever but until we're old and gray - we have to learn how to cherish this life that was given to us as a gift from Him. We have to learn how to follow His rules and not our own. If we want to reach that ultimate goal of heaven then this is what we'll do. We don't change our lives because we're scared of God, we change our lives because we love Him, and we love ourselves enough to change things for the better so we can be with Our Father.

Be mindful of the things going on around us, don't take things for granted. Tell those you love each day how you feel about them, tell them over and over. Show them how much they mean to you. Don't let a second go to waste, don't have any regrets, if you want something then go for it. And if you want to get to heaven, then go for it

God Bless and I pray that everyone have a blessed day, be safe and put Him in everything

+ mon

Dammit! I'm sick again! Second time in two weeks, man this is caca. I was fine this week and then my throat started to hurt. Maybe it was strepthroat or something, but then I figure it's the flu b/c of the way I feel right now. I hate that feeling when you just do a SMALL cough and then you feel like throwing up! Worst in the world!

Everytime I spit it's all green! Like a thick thick layer of snot! With every breath I take I can feel the phlem just moving around from my throat to my nose and wherever else it's going. Nasssty...

Then I got a LAN to goto tonight! And the Fellowship tomorrow! Man I gotta get some rest so I don't freakin' die this weekend. Hmmm I don't like taknig medicine b/c I don't want my body to be dependent on medicine when I'm sick. I took some herbal cough medicine last night and it got rid of the feaver that I had, so hopefully I don't fall apart. I would cancel going to the LAN this weekend but I can't get a refund on the car rental so I must go.

Oh well, wish me luck and if you see me just don't come too close! I'm oooozing snot and phlem! See you at the Fellowhip!

+ mon

Going back to last year (or was it the year before that), I remember when He said how there will be extreme weather changes, it will be hot where it's supposed to be cold, cold where it's supposed to be hot, there will be tornadoes where it's least expected - I can't remember what He said verbatim, but that's what I can recall, so don't quote Him on that.

When He said those words I was scared and I was looking for a heatwave during last years winter, but it didn't happen - so I figure we were in the clear and we were doing "good."

Then winter started this year and everything was normal, it was chilly, and it was cold. Then all of a sudden for two weeks the temperature jumps to 50-60 degrees, at the end of December!? That to me made no sense, and to top things off, the tsunami that happened...

He always warns us about these things that will be happening, He always tells us that we don't have enough time but most of us just forget about it after a month or two, sometimes even shorter. I remember hearing Him beg us to change our lives, He would ask us over and over and over again to change our lives and I'm pretty sure that most of us at the time made Him promises, most of us made vows to Him, but are we still holding true to what we said?

From sharings, the last message I heard was that there is no more time. We can take this anyway we want, be it 1 day, be it 10 years from now that He is talking about, but the "end" is coming near. Not sure how observant you have to be but you can see it if you just open your eyes to the signs of the times.

I was watching this show on the History Channel called The Bible Code. It was talking about how within the Bible is a matrix and in that matrix is a very intricate code. What do I mean by code? Well the way they explained it was that if you started with any letter in the Bible and consistently went to every X number of letters over, that if you found the correct first letter and the right number of letters to move over you could see the code.

Take for example:

I like to eat chicken mcnuggets.

Now if you were to start with the letter I and use ever three letters you'd come up with this:

Ikotiecgt

Of course the letters that I picked out makes no sense but you get the basic premis for the "Bible Code."

Well anyhow, they went through the Bible page by page, with a program to see if they could get some information that was useful. The findings was amazing. Within the "code" were words that identified significant historical events! They had things like "Einstein" and "electricity" - "president" "kennedy" "to be killed" "oswald" - there were a lot of things that they found within it. One of the things that stuck out most to me was when they found a code for the big earthquake that hit LA in the 90's. In that same code there was another year next to it, 2010. In the Bible Code it also said that 2012 will be the end of the world as we know it, that's 7 years from now.

I don't know if you guys believe in that "end of the world" stuff but from what I know there will be a 7 year process in which the "end of the world" will happen due to a comet/meteor hitting the earth.

With His messages and how things seem to have started, I'm talking about the weather changes, the tsunami that He warned us about - 7 years from now is 2012, which is the year that, according to the Bible Code, there will be another great earthquake.

Just some things that I've been thinking about for a while and haven't posted because I just finally got my thoughts together, and as from what you can see they are still a bit scattered

After all the talk about the "end of the world" and everything happening as He said so, I try to live my life in the way He would want me to - what would Jesus do? I try to change my life, I do what I can to make Him happy, I try my hardest to live by His commandments and just let Him be the driver.

With all that "scary" stuff about the end of the world, I also remember Him saying to us that if we have faith, if we trust in Him, that not a single hair on our heads will be harmed. When it all goes down, just stay where we are and pray.

It's not something we should be afraid of, we should strive to achieve that goal of changing our lives, to be one with Him and to be with Him in His kingdom. Try not to focus on anything but Him and you cannot be scared, not even by the end coming.

+ mon

I think I'm dying...I've gotten sick twice in the last two weeks. Right now I think I have strepthroat or something but my throat feels like shiz!

Man I shouldn't gave come into work today, I feel like crap and now I'm sleepy because I ate too much when I met Arvin for lunch! Thanks a lot Arbs! Messed up my diet...

+ mon

If any Abercrombie exec reads this - you need to open up a store in midtown Manhattan! I want to go shopping but the freakin' store is all the way in the seaport!

There's so many things I wanna get at Aber, if they had a store here in midtown they could make sooooooo much money!

open up a store in midtown!

+ mon

January 8th, 2005
BNP Youth Fellowship at American Legion (Ultreya Place) in Queens, NY from 12:00pm until 3:00pm
All youth graduates invited as well as their families

January 22nd, 2005
BNP Workshop at St. Rose of Lima (Vigil Place) in Rockawaybeach, NY - time to be announced. OIC Kuya Dennis Carreon special guest along with Kuya Manny, Ate Peachy, and Aimee Diaz
All NyC/NJ youth graduates invited - any out of state graudates who wish to attend must get permission via LA

+ mon

Yay! I learned how to modify the template and I added some links on the right side menu It has sites that I frequent and links to some Xanga's too. There's going to be more added in the links section as soon as I figure out what I other sites I want to share with everyone and we'll see what else I can mod on this template, just hope I don't mess things up too much that I can't fix it.

oOoOoo yeah! I got some sexay pictures of myself there too! Hmmm what else can I do to this blizog!

+ mon

Here's a song that I was just listening to - My December by Linkin Park. It's about a breakup and how he misses her especially during December. He's all alone now and he wishes he could take things back to fix things just to be with her, to have her to come home to. But it's not going to happen...he's all alone.

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

+ mon