// thoughts

You never know how people are going to surprise you. I've been around the BNP a while now and have seen my share of youth come and go. Some go for reasons that are very valid, and some go and leave something they found to be life changing for the smallest of reasons.

A lot of the times you will hear people tell you not to go to BNP because of the people but rather go there for God. Of course it's all for God, but on the surface it's because of our friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends or whomever you know that's already there. Sometimes people don't understand why they say not to go for the people, but it's with good reason. If you go to BNP activities for the people, then a very simple and small negative thing from one person can make you stop going.

Someone talking crap, something you heard someone say, or something that might have been taken out of context or the wrong way could lead to feelings being hurt, and eventually you not attending the BNP anymore. Who's the one that's losing out? The one who's still active? Or you, who stopped going because of the smallest thing?

When I was in Cali, I remember this was also a problem over there and one of the councils (I think it was Kuya Willie) said something that I will always remember and want to share with you guys.

*Next time you guys are about to tell something to someone else, just think of these questions. Is it the truth? Is it loving? Is it necessary? If you did not answer yes to all three, then you don't need to be telling that person whatever it is*

Say for example Gerard told Arvin something about me. Arvin told Gerard that I lie about everything I say, I was gay and that I talk crap about everyone. Now Gerard is chillin' with Mark and wants to tell Mark what Arvin just told him! Of course, it's natural to do that! So now Gerard has the choice of whether he's going to tell Mark everything he just heard from Arvin or he can just let it all go. Now Gerard has heard the sharing that I just said up there about the three questions...so he asks himself...is it the truth - he doesn't know? He just heard it from Arvin, he'd have to ask me to make sure it was the truth. Now he asks himself the second question...is it loving - nope it's not, if he spread the rumors that he's heard, it's going to ruin a lot of people's opinions about me and might ruin other things in my life. So now Gerard asks himself the last question...is it necessary - again the answer to this is no. Telling Mark about the things he's heard from Arvin isn't something he would have to do. So he doesn't say anything because he didn't answer yes to all those questions, he didn't even answer yes to one of them.

It's really simple...when you hear a rumor or something about someone just keep it to yourself! Why do we always feel the need to tell someone else when we find out something juicy about a person? Why do we always believe it!? Is it because so and so said so? Or because we want to coverup our own flaws by making someone else "lower than us."

So next time you hear someone tell you..."hey did you hear about [place name here]? I heard that they [fill in rumor here]!" - ask yourself Is it the truth? Is it loving? It is necessary? If the answer to any of the three questions is not an absolute yes, then don't even say anything about what you heard - practice some self control and some humility by keeping your mouth shut.

This is just something that I learned when I was talking to some of the youth today, we could really all be the best of friends if we practiced those three questions. And regardless of the reason anyone goes to BNP functions, just keep going. Sooner or later people will see what it's all about, people will see the real meaning, the real reason we all still go today - people will see the love, people will see God.

Ask yourself those three questions before spreading something you've heard...

+ mon